“You’re a character in a story I wrote, but here you are, in my office.” Jen Eastwood isn’t my real name, and neither is Keith Ross, unless you’re reading this right now. I can hardly believe it myself, but I’m a character stuck in one of my own books. I couldn’t believe it until one of my favorite characters I’d written suddenly showed up kneeling on my desk. As it turns out, those and “magic and ” figures my friend gave me really can bring characters to life, just by painting them. Now I’ve got to explain why I’ve got this insatiable goddess of a bimbo running around our house to my wife. And beyond that, I’ve got to explain to her that we’re now characters in a Jen Eastwood series. I should be excited about being the male character in one of my books, since I know everything will end on the steamy, unmentionable side of things for me. But being the kind of man who takes his wedding vows seriously, I know having Elena around is just going to end in disaster. Within days, she’ll be on me like a hobo on a muffin, begging me to give her the pleasure she needs to even function. And in this household, I’m the only man available for the job. It’s not like she’s from this world, so I can’t just send Elena home or boot her out on the street. This new chaos in my life is all the result of one small statue, and I’ve still got four left. and “I hate to sound a little biased, but I think I’ve been a very… very good girl this week. and “

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